How do I know when to use tu versus Lei
In Italian, “tu” and “Lei” both mean “you,” but they are used in different contexts based on formality and social relationships.
“Tu” is the informal singular pronoun used with friends, family, peers, children, or anyone you know well. It is appropriate in casual, familiar, or intimate settings. For instance, you would use “tu” when speaking to a close friend or someone your own age or younger.
“Lei” is the formal singular pronoun used to show respect or politeness. It is used with strangers, older people, superiors, or in professional and formal situations. When addressing someone with “Lei,” the verb conjugation is in the third person singular, even though it means “you.” For example, when speaking politely to a stranger or in a formal business meeting, “Lei” is used.
When meeting someone for the first time or in doubt, it is safer to use “Lei” until invited to use “tu.” In casual or informal environments, “tu” is common. Regional differences exist, but the general rule prioritizes respect through formality.
Summary:
- Use “tu” informally (friends, family, peers, children)
- Use “Lei” formally (strangers, older people, superiors, professional settings)
- Verb conjugations differ: “tu” uses second person singular verbs; “Lei” uses third person singular verbs
- When unsure, start with “Lei” for politeness
This distinction is important for proper etiquette in Italian conversations. If moving from formal to informal, ask permission (e.g., “Possiamo darci del tu?”) to switch from “Lei” to “tu”.